I missed something; I know it.

I’m not doing this right.

I don’t always trust myself even though my instincts about my daughter are pretty spot on!

I am usually second-guessing, panicking around messing her up.

Like I’m going to flip the wrong lever!

 

Meme image- The Emperor's New Groove (Disney, 2000)

 

I know my daughter better than anyone else. I know what she needs, how she communicates with her eyes more than her mouth. I know her safe foods and her laugh better than any other human on earth, and I still feel like I am going to somehow cause her to just roll over and turn into shriveled-up shrimp or something.

Funny part of it is that I can stand up to any doctor when advocating for her, I will tell any therapist if I can’t do something for a reason, I will talk to every part of her team to find the right avenue for her best chance in life.

I will always come home feeling like I could have done it better, different, more, less, whatever! I always feel defeated. Like I can’t trust myself.

So, I am on a journey of rebuilding my self-trust. If you are in the same place, let’s walk the steps together. I could use a friend!!

Animated scene with a character pulling a lever and another character showing a wrong lever, with text bubbles indicating the actions.

Steps I think will work!

Step one: What is trust? –Safety, consistency, honesty. Write statements that reflect these ideas of what trust is for you.

                I will keep doing what I think is best in this situation.

 I know what I can do; I know what she will do, and I know our limits.

 I know I can be wrong and still be okay.

 I know it is not always easy, but that I can be a wonderful mom during hard times.

 I know I will never let us be unsafe.

 

Step two: Write what I know about the situation, the truth, the whole truth!

                I am a wonderful mom!

I know she is in pain.

 I am second-guessing whether I know how to help her best.

Step three: Acknowledge what I am already doing to make the situation better

                I am trying to use what I know to help her.

                I know what medication to give

I know what coping skills to use for both of us.

I know it is okay to ask for help. Help!!           

Step Four: Look! 

I know what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, and when I don’t, I know how to ask for help. I can trust myself to do what is right and best.

Step Five: Repeat Steps 1-4 over and over and over!!!!!!!!

                Yes, I can do this!!!!! I can and I will!!!

 

Reward: Confidence