Dealing with the hard stuff

The nerves are real right now. We have an upcoming appointment, and my thoughts have been rolling over and over in my mind.
What if everything goes wrong and another surgery is needed?
What if everything goes right, but the symptoms are still there and we don’t know why?

These are the questions that show up in the quiet moments. Rolling over and over in my mind.

Here’s the honest part: even those of us who coach others, who teach skills, who understand anxiety and coping strategies, we are still human. We can have the knowledge, the training, and the tools, and still feel that wave of anxiety rise in our chest. Knowing what to do doesn’t make us immune to fear. It simply means we have a path to walk when fear shows up.

The best way I have learned to handle these moments is to pinpoint what is at the bottom of the anxiety.
It’s the fear of something going wrong, of not having answers, and the uncertainty.

When we can name what’s underneath the anxiety, we can begin to put our thoughts on trial.

We can ask ourselves:
What is the worst thing that could happen, and how would we handle it?

If she needs more surgery, what would I do?

If everything is ok, and she still has symptoms, what would I do?

Answering those “what if” questions doesn’t erase anxiety, but it does take away some of its power. It allows me to know that if those thoughts roll up anytime, I already have an answer.

I prefer to write them down, not a journal really, but just jot down the thought, the bottom fear/concern, and the answer to the concern.

Even with all the coaching skills in the world, I still have moments where anxiety comes, and that’s okay. It’s normal. It’s human.

I am human. I have power over my body, my mind, and what I do with both.

In the end, it will be ok, because I am in control